My Lips...But Better

Every beauty junkie has her own personal mission to find the ideal, everyday lip product that just works with her natural lip shade, enhancing it without concealing it. In the beauty world, this shade or shades is referred to as MLBB...my lips but better. As much as I love bright, flashy lipsticks in fun, bold colors, there are plenty of times where I need a MLBB shade to either bring attention to the rest of my face or just for an everyday coverup. I can't tell you how many times I've gotten a ferret nip right on the lip that I want to just erase!

As of right now, I've found four amazing products that achieve that MLBB look, so I decided to do a fun little writeup of the products that I love and reach for often! My favorite four are:

• Guerlain Rouge Automatique in 100 Apres L'Ondee
• Obsessive Compulsive Cosmetics Lip Tar in Memento
• NARS Velvet Matte Lip Pencil in Sex Machine
• YSL Rouge Volupte Shine in 08 Pink In Confidence

Guerlain, OCC, NARS, YSL

Guerlain's Rouge Automatique is a sheerer formula than their legendary Rouge Gs (which are one of my favorite full-coverage lipsticks ever), but it does a great job enhancing the natural lip color without overpowering it. The super-convenient packaging is also one of my favorites...slide the little button up and the lipstick pops out the top! 100 Apres L'Ondee is very close to my natural lip shade, so it's definitely a go-to for me!

OCC Lip Tars are fantastic, opaque, long wearing liquid lipsticks. You just need a little dab of liquid to cover your lips, and the formula will set and stay put for hours and hours. Memento is a rose-mauve that is slightly brighter than my lips and is definitely very opaque, but it's the only long-wearing full-coverage shade that I can put in the MLBB category so I love it for days when I won't have time for touch-ups.

NARS Velvet Matte lip pencil in Sex Machine was my very first MLBB color, as you can tell from the picture because it's certainly well-loved. I adore the simple pencil application, which is why this is a makeup bag staple for me. It hides all of the little flaws in my lips while giving a smooth, matte finish that is natural but lovely. I always, always have this one in my bag.

YSL Rouge Volupte Shines are sheerer but extremely hydrating lipstick that feels like a balm gliding on and leaves a wonderful shine. It's probably the most moisturizing and comfortable lipstick formula I've ever worn. 08 Pink in Confidence is a glossy MLBB shade, so it's perfect for days I want a subtle but shiny lip.

Guerlain, OCC, NARS, YSL (no flash)

 Guerlain, OCC, NARS, YSL (flash)

As you can tell, each shade has its own look that I can use to enhance when I'm not feeling a statement lip (which happens, I swear). Some are sheerer, while some are more opaque. I love all of them, though, and they each get heavy rotation in my makeup roster!

Feel free to share your favorite MLBB shade!

A Personal Post on Weight, Self-Esteem, and Hating the Way You Look

Today's going to be a bit of a personal post, which is something that I hesitate writing.

I struggle a lot with my weight. I'm never happy with the number on the scale, or what I look like. With the summer spent at home, I'm finding myself about 12-15lbs heavier than I usually am, and that's been stressing me out to the max. My clothes don't really fit anymore. I hate what I see in the mirror. I've even been putting off going to the gym because I hate the feeling that I'm the "fat girl at the gym". I liked it when I was more petite, going to the gym and lifting weights and feeling badass because I was so small lifting pretty big for my size. Now, I almost dread it. My gym clothes don't fit the way I like. My weights aren't nearly as good in regards to my size. I feel silly, stupid.

Realistically, I know I'm not medically overweight, even when I'm on the "heavier" end of my weight fluctuations like now. I'm "normal", which is something I cringe saying when I so desperately want to be "small". I also know that I'll probably never be content with what I look like. But the thing with severe body image issues (and the related disordered eating), is they can be...as silly as this sounds...debilitating. I find myself so depressed and anxious that I don't want to do anything, and that takes its toll on every aspect of my life, from the gym to my relationship to school. Food is not something you can just quit. You're stuck with it to survive. And it takes over your mind where it's all you can think about. Food, eating, how you look, how you feel like your fat rolls are pouring over the top of your pants.

I'm trying very hard not to resort to "just don't eat". For anyone who doesn't have experience with eating disorders, that sounds kind of ridiculous, but to me it sounds like such a "safe" and simple way to drop the weight I've put on, plus a little more. But I've worked so hard on my lifts to get where I am (which still doesn't feel like very far!), that the thought of my lifts going down so significantly is also unsettling. I feel stuck between a rock and a hard place; I can drop the weight unhealthily and get back to where I feel a little better about myself, but all of my hard work will suffer. Or, I can eat healthily and lose the weight slowly while keeping my lifts relatively stable, but deal with the tremendous anxiety of not losing enough weight right this moment.

It's going to be tough...trying to eat healthily but still enough, which my brain keeps yelling at me is too much too much. I just want to feel better, in every sense of the word, physically and mentally.

I'm going to post a few pics, which makes me uncomfortable, but that's the point. I have to get over that.

Deadlift day

New lipstick! Le Metier de Beaute in Thailand

I know I don't ever get a lot of readers, or comments, but if anyone has any advice, or stories to share, I would love to hear from you!

Tomorrow I'm planning a my-lips-but-better lipstick post, which is exciting!

Urban Decay Revolution Lipstick in Native

By now, most of you (or probably all of you!) have heard of Urban Decay's new Revolution lipstick line. With 22 fantastic shades, there's one...or more...for everyone. I fell in love with, say, at least half of them, and picked a few to try out the formula and I've been nothing but impressed! One of my most-used shades is the light pink Native, which works as a nice pinky-nude on me.

Gorgeous, isn't it? The packaging is a sleek purple-gunmetal, which is always lovely. The formula itself is creamy but not too thick, a little bit thinner than Too Faced's La Creme formula and with more slip.

Native (with flash)

Native (no flash)

As you can tell, it's definitely one of the lighter colors in the range, but for those of us who are crazy pale, it's perfect perfect perfect for a no-fuss goes-with-everything lip. Being such a light color, this shade in particular doesn't wear as long as the brighter colors (which have unbelievable wear time), but it's quite long-lasting and the formula isn't drying whatsoever so it's a dream to wear.

Native and all of the other shades ($22) can be purchased from Urban Decay's site, and all of the shades minus the two exclusive to UD's site (Protest and Strip) are at your local Sephora!

The apartment has finally come together (I think) and I've successfully finished the first week of what's hopefully my final year of undergrad. Lots of nonsensical courses that I'm stuck taking that aren't related to my major, but I'm hoping to push through and still have time to prepare for the PCATs!

As a congratulations-to-me gift (or two), I snagged a Rebecca Minkoff tote and two pairs of shoes from HauteLook...which I'm shamelessly pimping because I got fantastic, fantastic deals...and a bit of a makeup haul from Sephora and Nordstrom including OCC Lip Tar in Memento, some nail polishes, and Le Metier de Beaute Colour Core lipsticks in Thailand and Ibiza. Despite being a LMdB fan, I've never actually tried their lipstick formula (probably because I have so, so many lipsticks already), so I'm excited to give it a whirl!

My busy-day essentials

OCC Lip Tar in "Queen" - love!

I'm trying to get all my work for the week done during the long weekend so I can have time to not stress and sit at the door waiting for all my boxes to arrive!

Alive!

It lives! Moving was the biggest hassle...everything went wrong, from the truck to the internet company screwing us over to the boyfriend leaving his phone in the truck and having to drive home the next day to get it.

The place is still a mess, even though it's been almost a week! We both just have SO much stuff. Yesterday I picked up the ferrets, who are now living in their new giant ferret palace that I put together for them. I think they like it.

We may have found a gym, which is awesome because it's a great price and very close. Nothing around here has bumper plates except for one gym very far away and, of course, crossfit gyms. Crossfit isn't my thing for a few different reasons (in particular, the cost), so I was delighted when the girl at this new gym said I could bring my own. I may pick up a pair of 10lb ones just to work off of for cleans and whatnot.

Just a quick check-in...school starts for me next week but at least I'll finally be in a routine instead of a constant chaotic scramble, so hopefully I can get to blogging regularly!

Things I Love: Le Metier de Beaute Lip Creme

As an apology for being so sporadic lately, here's a fun beauty post!

Le Metier de Beaute is one of my favorite brands, and has been ever since I first discovered them. I was first enamored by their eye kaleidoscopes (which are still a staple for me!) and the rest is history. I've been known to call other cities and other states to get my hands on counter exclusives. I could wax poetic about my favorite LMdB products for ages...don't get me started on Creme Fresh Tints!...but today I'll be focusing on their Lip Creme formula.

Described as "a hybrid of gloss and lipstick", Lip Cremes span that whole spectrum, from the sheerer shades all the way to the brightest and most pigmented. They have a light, glossy texture that slides on smoothly and is never thick or sticky.

Le Metier de Beaute Lip Cremes in (L-R) Creme de la Creme, Sweet Creme, Peche Creme, Fraise Creme, and Red Velvet

Creme de la Creme, Sweet Creme, Peche Creme, Fraise Creme, and Red Velvet (With Flash)

 Creme de la Creme, Sweet Creme, Peche Creme, Fraise Creme, and Red Velvet (Without Flash)

I unfortunately only have these five, but as you can see they're perfect for layering, a little kick, or a big bang. One of my favorite things about Lip Cremes is how hydrating they are. I hate when a lipstick or lip gloss...particularly after they've been worn for a bit...seem to leave your lips a bit sad and dry. Lip Cremes are one of my favorite if not my very favorite in terms of moisture. My lips never, ever feel dry, even after I've had them on for hours. In fact, they may even leave my lips a bit softer!

Lip Cremes can be found at your local LMdB counter if you're lucky enough to have one, or online at the usual retailers: Nordstrom, Saks, Neiman Marcus, Bergdorf Goodman.

Catch-up Post, New PR, and Some Personal Stuff

I know I promised I would be better about posting! I've been out of town probably three times in the past five days, including a four-hour drive to IKEA (the nearest one!) to get some last-minute apartment stuff. Moving day is Saturday, and I still have so much to do.

On a better note, today I upped my deadlift and hit another PR...190lbs! I tried for 200lbs but it was a bad pull from the beginning for some reason. I knew the second I grabbed the bar it wasn't going to happen. I think if I'd had a normal good pull, I would have hit it, but I'm definitely happy with 190!

I am a bit worried about the weight I've put on over the summer. I've struggled with eating issues in the past (understatement of basically ever), so this is really bothering me. When I'm really down about my weight, it affects everything in my life. I don't want to do anything, I want to stay inside, and of course that sadness just makes me eat more. It's a really terrible cycle. I had spent the last school year being moderately lean with pretty good intake, but the second I got home it just went downhill.

My chaotic and inconsistent schedule over the summer combined with the "donuts for all meals are okay" attitude of my house has been hell on my body in many different ways. I can't say part of me didn't love the splurge...most of ED past revolved around sweets and baked goods as comfort for my anxieties, and that calming feeling I get when I have a cupcake or chocolate bar hasn't really gone away despite years of therapy...but then there's the aftermath. That's the worst part. And once that cycle begins, it's hell to get out of, particularly when you're in an environment that fosters it. I know that once I move I'll be eating clean and have a better schedule, but until then I'm just trying to make it through. I feel like I just have a million pounds of fat to lose, and I do have plenty of muscle under there so I think I'll look okay once I lean out. It's just a lot of extra worrying that I don't need right now, you know?

Anywho, this week will be hectic, but I'll try to get some posts and pics in! I do try to post on my Instagram more often, so check that out!